A Christ-Centered Guide for Young Adults
Come On!
After walking nearly 1,800 miles over 190 days, Frodo and Sam are nearing the end of their grueling journey. They stand mere moments away from completing their task… or failing completely. The One Ring’s immense weight and the unrelenting hardships of the journey have taken their toll on Frodo. He can no longer recognize himself in the mirror, recall the taste of good food, or remember the warmth of sunlight. Exhausted and overwhelmed, he collapses as they ascend Mount Doom.
Frodo is not failing for lack of effort—he has given everything he has. But even in this darkest moment, his loyal companion, Samwise Gamgee, refuses to leave his side. With tears in his eyes and resolve in his heart, Sam exclaims, “Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!” Hoisting Frodo onto his back, Sam yells the words of encouragement, “Come on!” one more time. Pushing forward up the treacherous path, Samwise is determined to see his friend fulfill the mission entrusted to him.
This powerful scene from The Lord of the Rings illustrates the power of sacrificial love, unwavering loyalty, and a willingness to bear one another’s burdens. Galatians 6:2 says “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Just as Sam exemplifies strength and encouragement, godly relationships are meant to lift us up and point us toward our ultimate purpose in Christ.
Navigating relationships as a young adult can be both exciting and challenging. Whether it’s friendships, dating, or preparing for marriage, how we relate to others has a spiritual impact. As followers of Christ, we are called to approach relationships differently than the world. God should be at the center.
In this guide, we will explore five steps to cultivating godly relationships rooted in Scripture and guided by Christ-like love.
1. Start with the Foundation: Your Relationship with God
Before you can build healthy relationships with others, your relationship with God must be your foundation. Jesus said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment” (Matthew 22:37-38). A heart that is fully devoted to God will overflow with His love, equipping you to love others well. As pastor and theologian Charles Spurgeon once said, “Nothing teaches us about the preciousness of the Creator as much as when we learn the emptiness of everything else.” When God is your ultimate source of joy and purpose, you won’t look to others to fill a void only He can satisfy.
Application: Dedicate time each day to prayer and Bible study. Strengthen your personal relationship with Christ so that He becomes the foundation of every other relationship in your life.
2. Seek Friendships That Sharpen You
All friendships have a significant positive or negative impact on your walk with Christ. Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote in Life Together, “The Christian needs another Christian who speaks God’s Word to him. He needs him again and again when he becomes uncertain and discouraged.” Surround yourself with friends who speak truth into your life and point you back to Christ in both joyous and difficult seasons. We are all familiar with Proverbs 27:17, which says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” True godly friends challenge you to grow in holiness, hold you accountable, and encourage you in the faith.
Application: Evaluate your friendships. Are the people in your inner circle helping you draw closer to Christ? If not, pray for wisdom and seek out a community of believers who can strengthen your faith.
3. Dating with Purpose and Purity
For young adults navigating the world of dating, it’s essential to approach romantic relationships with purpose and purity. Scripture calls us to honor God with our bodies and our hearts: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4). Dating should ultimately be aimed at discerning God’s will for a lifelong partnership in marriage. A Christ-centered relationship seeks to glorify God and build each other up in faith—marriage is, after all, a reflection of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:32).
Application: Put steps one and two into action, and step three can be a natural outflow. Set clear boundaries in dating relationships and seek accountability from trusted mentors or friends. Pray for discernment and wisdom as you consider whether any relationship aligns with God’s purpose for your life.
4. Honor God in Your Words and Actions
Relationships thrive when they are marked by humility, kindness, and grace. Ephesians 4:29 encourages us, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Your words have the power to build others up or tear them down. Similarly, your actions should reflect the love of Christ by demonstrating patience, forgiveness, and selflessness. When your heart rests in Christ, it transforms the way you interact with others. One fruit that is produced (Galatians 5) is His love shining through your words and deeds.
Application: Practice actively speaking words of encouragement and showing acts of kindness. It might be natural to some of us, but it’s a muscle we can all strengthen. Be intentional in how you reflect Christ’s love in every interaction.
5. Trust God’s Timing and Plan
Finally, trust that God’s timing and plan for your relationships are perfect. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” Whether you are single, dating, or married, God is working in your life for your good and His glory. Even when you cannot see it, God is at work, preparing you and your relationships for His purposes.
Application: It’s okay to ask God for good friends and a godly spouse. Surrender your relationships to Him in prayer. Take some time to reflect on how He has guided you in the past. Trust Him to lead you in His perfect timing and remain faithful in seeking His will.
Spoilers Ahead
Consider again Sam from The Lord of the Rings. He was not even the hero of the story, yet (spoilers) he made it to the end with Frodo, the protagonist, in tow. Personally, I hope that I can reflect the biblical call to put myself lower than others (Philippians 2:3), and I pray that God will empower you to do that same. If you want to build godly relationships, it requires intentionality, prayer, and a commitment to keep Christ at the center. Prioritize your relationship with God, seek friendships that sharpen you, date with purpose and purity, honor God in your words and actions, and trust His timing. By following these five steps (spoilers), you will develop relationships that glorify Him and reflect His love to the world.